(As an aside, the bigger the claim, the more proof you need to back up your claim.)

Well, a great way to overcome scepticism is in your headline. Address the reader’s scepticism immediately.

Take a look at this ad selling orange and lemon trees in the UK.

Naturally we’re sceptical about whether we can grow lemon and orange trees here. I mean come off it. We’ve had 3 monsoon summers. We’ve just had the coldest winter for decades. Now you’re telling me I can grow lemons and oranges?

Pull the other one. Think I was born yesterday?

But, look carefully at the choice of wording.

“…Thrive and grow like crazy here in the UK.”

Wow, that’s a great claim.

And note the use of the word “proven” in the sub-head as a proof element.

And notice the word pictures the copywriter has used underneath.

“… Survive the worst of British weather, severe frosts down to -5C …. lashing rain … sleet or snow… ferocious high winds…”

Plus there is an irresistible offer…

“ Or you pay nothing!”

This is a great money making ad. Especially with the upsell included on the order form.

Heck, I’m thinking of buying these trees myself. I can already picture the oranges and lemons growing on the south side of our house.

What do you think to this ad?

Comments welcome.

Until next time

Mark

So let’s take a look.

NE asked:

When writing a sales letter for a squeeze page what is the best way to write headlines which draw people in?

You have to know your audience.

Start by asking yourself three questions:

Who is my prospect?

What is their need or want?

Show how your solution provides them with the answers.

So really think deeply about your prospect. Who are they? What is their most pressing problem?

Also, you need to test different headlines. Different headlines pull different responses.

The best headline test is one which tests different assumptions about your prospect. You can test on price, ease of use, etc

Also, you need to consider the stage of awareness among your prospects. Gene Schwartz describes this in detail in his great book Breakthrough Advertising.

What’s the stage of awareness?

Think of the weight loss market.

Years ago you’d run an ad Lose Weight. And it would pull.

Over time though, your response would go down. People would be tired of seeing the same ad. Yet, the desire to lose weight is still rampant in your audience.

So you need a new mechanism.

So… then you need to run an ad\”Lose xlbs in 30 days”.

Of course this ad would tire as well.

And then you go onto the next stage of awareness. If everybody is making the same promise then you need a new promise.

OK, onward…

FJ asked - how I write bullets. Bullets or fascinations as they’re also called are those short one two sentences you’ll read in a sales letter.

When I’m writing for an info product, whether it’s a book or DVD I always write the bullets first. This gets me ‘into’ the heart of the product.

For instance, if it’s a book I go through the book, page by page writing bullets from each page. I look for snippets of information which I can arouse their curiosity with. So they read the bullet and wonder what the heck the answer is. When I’ve finished I should have several hundred bullets. Then I cut out the weakest ones.

So how do you turn a piece of plain information into something far more riveting?

Let’s take a look at an example:

Take a boxing promotion I’ve written in the past. A section of copy says

“Now look in the mirror, Draw your chin slowly down to your collarbone, again being certain that the right ear is not too much exposed and that the part of the head where the horns of the goat would naturally be, is presented toward the mirror.

So I wrote a bullet:

How copying a goat protects your chin from brutal punishment. And you should do this move whenever you launch an attack.

And from the same promotion there was a piece about how using your heel to punch harder. This became….

How to use your heel to deliver lightening quick blows FAR more powerful than your opponents hardest punches. (Sounds unbelievable doesn’t it? But you’ll discover it works every)

Some bullets are easier to write than others. The easy ones spring off the page at you. Others, you have to think more deeply about.

Final bit of advice; You’ll know your bullets are good when you read them and they arouse your curiosity.

JC asked: If you can record a sales pitch and transcribe it into a letter.

It’s true. You can record your salesperson giving a presentation and turn this into a sales letter. Simply go back and polish the letter after you’ve written it out.

Now, as for the right angle.

Research Deeper. You need to interview the person who the letter is from. Dig deep. Find that nugget of human interest. Something which will grab the reader. And make them want to read on.

Why did the person make the product?

How did he discover it?

And so on.

If you dig deep enough you’ll find the answer. Even if you have to go back and interview the person again. It can be hard I know. I’ve come off the phone after speaking with a client. Gone away and thought about it. Only to come up with more questions to go back to the client with.

Try it and see.

Use This Popular Magazine To Steal First Paragraph Ideas

So let’s continue talking where we left off - the importance of the first paragraph.

We discussed the “If” and “Then” formula.

So what other techniques can you use to hold your reader’s attention when writing your first paragraph?

John Caples in his book Tested Advertising Methods has a few interesting techniques. What he did was this. He went through a number of a certain magazine issues and discovered some very successful first paragraph formulas repeated time and time again.

So these techniques were obviously proven to grab the reader’s attention. And keep them reading. Which is exactly what you need to do all in your sales ads.

What was the name of this magazine?

Reader’s Digest.

I’ll share with you the formulas Caples discovered.

#1. Come out with a startling statement. Or a sentence which interrupts your reader’s thought process.

For example…

She stormed out of the bar shouting and cursing.

The profit potential for you is astonishing.

These get you thinking who. What. Where. And you want to read on.

#2 The shocker.

A Frenchman is rarely seen drunk, but France has the highest rate of alcoholism in the world.

Now that’s what you call a shocking statement.

3. News.

Come out with a piece of news for your reader.

People love news.

4. Start with a story.

If you analyze Reader’s Digest over half the articles start with a story. Besides everybody loves reading a good story. We’ve been familiar with them since childhood. And they help to avoid your reader’s advertising radar.

So if you get stuck when writing your first paragraph try some of these formulas. They worked for Caples. And they could work for you.

Until next time

Mark

Now your prospect wants more information. They’re all ears for what you’ve got to say.

However you can switch them off quicker than a light… IF… you start talking about the wrong thing.

Hence, the importance of your first paragraph.

You see, all you’re trying to do is get them to read the first sentence. Then the second sentence. Then the third sentence….and… so on…

You don’t want to undo all your good work by murdering the effect of your headline. And lose him by talking about something in your first paragraph which doesn’t grab their attention and stop them from reading.

Makes sense doesn’t it?

That’s why the great Gary Halbert formula for his first paragraph has worked so well. Gary often started with…

“If you’ve ever (your biggest benefit you’re offering goes here)…then this is the most exciting message you’ll ever read”

…in his sales letters.

What’s wrong with this?

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing. If this worked for a genius like Gary it could work for you. After all, Gary did write the most mailed letter ever - his coat of arms letter.

The only possible fault with this is it’s been too good. Everyone has copied it. So your prospects may be tired of reading this type of opening.

So what other ways can you start your ad?

Good question.

Let’s take a look.

Now, Joe Sugarman favours a very short first sentence to drag you into his sales copy.

For example. Let’s take a look at some Sugarman first sentences. (By the way if you’re not familiar with Joe he’s the very successful US mail order guy. He once sold an aeroplane for $240,000… by… mail. However Joe is best know for his BluBlocker sunglasses.

Here are some of Joe’s first sentences.

Losing weight is not easy.
It’s really a shame.
You’re stuck.
George is a pet truck.
Judge for yourself.
It’s easy.
It had to happen.

See how all these arouse your curiosity. How you want and need to read the second sentence to find out what all the heck this is about. Where the ad is going.

I’m going to continue this post on first paragraphs in a part 2. Why? Because this is such a critical section of your ad.

Until part 2 then.

Mark

]]> http://case-studies-in-advertising.com/copywriting/brilliant-headline-murderer/feed/ http://case-studies-in-advertising.com/copywriting/facelift-for-ex-traffic-cop-ad/ http://case-studies-in-advertising.com/copywriting/facelift-for-ex-traffic-cop-ad/#comments Thu, 06 Aug 2009 12:06:40 +0000 mark http://case-studies-in-advertising.com/?p=169 Facelift For Ex-Traffic Cop Ad

Back along I wrote about an ad selling a driver’s handbook showing you how you can keep your driving licence. You can see the ad here.

Anyway I see the advertiser is now running a similar ad selling the same book.

Now they’re either testing a different approach – new headline and lead as is routine. Or, response from the original ad has dropped or become fatigued. It’ll be interesting to see they continue running with this newer ad.

Note the use of drama and intrigue in the new ad. The promise of being entertained if you start reading. The beginning of a juicy story. And then you’re sucked straight into the ad.

Good one!

Until next time.

Mark

One of the best books you’ll ever read on copywriting is Breakthrough Advertising by Eugene Schwarz. Apart from being a brilliant marketing book this book has several unusual claims:

It was the most stolen book from US libraries. And, used copies used to sell for as much as $900 on eBay. That is until a few years ago before Boardroom re-published it. I think I paid $99 for my new copy.

This book is definitely not a beginner’s book. It can be quite a heavy read. And you’ll probably need to read it several times to absorb all the gems it contains.

However I’m going to bring you some of Schwarz’s marketing gems to you.

So without anymore ado let’s take a look at my favourite chapter of Breakthrough Advertising – chapter 7 which is on Intensification. In other words, how to intensify desire in your prospect for what you’re selling.

You’ve got to show your prospect all the ways their desires can be achieved by using your product. Show them in great detail what their life is going to be like once they’re using your product.

The sharper you can draw this picture… and… the more ways you can present this, the greater the number of people will demand what you’re selling. So here’s what you need to do.

Think of all the different ways using your product helps your prospect. And them simply tell them in vivid detail. Show word pictures. Full of emotion.

Of course this is limited by the space you’ve got. Especially, if you’re writing a space ad.

However here’s the thing.

Your prospect will take from your ad only one basic thing. One dominant image from your ad. But, with every additional new and different way you can present this then image becomes sharper in your prospect’s mind. And builds more emotional weight.

Bear this in mind though. You can’t keep repeating what you’re saying. Nor can you run the risk of boring your reader.

However you can reinforce what you’re saying. So you need to write around your product. Come at your reader from different angles.

Once you’ve presented your basic claims in a certain way then you must vary your viewpoint in your second description. Or risk rejection.

So here is a short list on how to intensify desire in your prospect.

1. First present the product or the satisfaction it gives with a thorough detailed description.

2. Put your claims into action.

3. Bring in your reader. Show them what will happen once they own the product with a vivid description.

4. Show them how to test your claims.

5. Stretch out how your benefits not just immediately but over the coming weeks and months.

6. Bring in an audience.

7. Show experts approving.

8. Compare, contrast show superiority.

9. Picture the black side as well. How you’re liberating your prospect from their previous life.

10. Show how easy it is to get these benefits.

11. Use metaphor, analogy, imagination

12. Summarize.

13. Dramatize your guarantee.

Next time you sit down to write an ad bear some of these pointers in mind. It’ll increase the response from your ads.

Until next time

Mark

Here’s an interesting direct response ad I cut out recently. I think this ad will do very well.

After all who couldn’t relate to the story it tells?

The word pictures the ad conjures up in your mind as you read it. Granny cooking in the kitchen. Wholesome nutritious meals. Good food. And now you can have the same recipes.

Plus there are the usual guarantee, price discount and free bonus.

Yep, I think this ad is a winner.

What do you think?

Until next time

Mark

One of the first rules of selling is this; As people we like to buy. We do not like to be sold to.

This is only natural.

We much prefer to feel we are in charge of the buying process. That we choose to buy of our own accord. That we’re in charge. In control ourselves.

Let’s face it.

Nobody likes a pushy sales person. And when we confront a pushy one, we just dig our heels in. And don’t buy from them.

Wouldn’t it be much better if in our sales copy we made the other person feel that what we want them to do is their idea in the first place?

If we could plant in their mind so as to get them thinking that it was their idea all along.

Of course it would.

This is very much like showing rather than telling. Demonstrating with a short story, or an interesting fact. Rather than telling your reader outright.

Say you’re selling the safest car around. And you discover safety is the paramount feature your buyers are looking for when buying a car.

For arguments sake you come out with…

“The metal we use undergoes a special four stage strengthening process which makes it less likely to crumple at the slightest impact. There are quadruple bars in each door to safeguard you and your passengers against side impact. Etc, etc.”

And you go on pointing out more and more safety features. Without you saying this is the safest car around. Your prospect is drawing that conclusion in their own mind themselves.

Making their own mind up about your product or service. Instead of you actually selling to them.

So your reader sells themselves on what you’re offering. Which is precisely what you want.

See how much more powerful this technique becomes? Because the reader is making their own mind up. You’ll close far more sales by doing this.

Don’t tell. Don’t be a pushy sales person.

Rather. Show. Demonstrate. Let your prospect draw their own conclusions. And you’ll become a master persuader in print.

Until next time

Mark

website: www.markpocock.com
Blog: www.case-studies-in-advertising.com
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Henry Ford said, “ If there is one secret to success it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”

And dear ol’ Henry should know a thing or two about success after founding the Ford Motor company.

There is only one way to influence other people.

And that is to find out what they want. Talk about it. And show them how to get it.

Simple eh?

There you go. The keys to the universe handed to you on a plate.

You see as people we’re selfish. We’re only interested in ourselves. What we want.

This is crucial when persuading people to do what you want.

So when you talk to other people in your sales copy it had better be about what they want. Remember this;

It’s all about THEM. Not about you.

This is so important I’ll repeat it.

It’s all about THEM. Not about you.

So what’s the best way to do this?

Well, firstly you need to arouse an eager want in your prospects.

This comes back to finding out what people want. And you can only do this by knowing your prospect thoroughly. By building a profile of your ideal customer. Writing to a real person whom you know.

And secondly, you need to show your reader how you can provide them with what they want. How your product or service is the best way to get what they want.

Remember this simple nugget (and employ it) and your prospects will be putty in your hands.

I’ll leave you with another quote.

“People who can put themselves in the place of other people, who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them”, Owen Young.

Until next time

Mark

Here’s a fascinating little copywriting nugget you can use to boost the response to your ads.

This nugget is namely this:

As people we have different viewpoints on the amount of money we have the potential to earn.

To one type of person £1 million is a lot of money. And totally out of their reach in their lifetime. Unless they were to win the lottery.

Yet to another person £1 million is simply a number. A target to get to, a goal to achieve. Definitely achievable under the right circumstances with the right vehicle.

Same audience. Totally different viewpoints.

Yet both sets of people are right in their beliefs. Because of what they believe. And you’ve got to address the different mindsets of them in your sales copy.

This is especially true when writing for the business opportunity market. And this has recently been brought home by a recent sales letter I’ve written.

One the one hand the ad has to cater for the biz opp seeker with high expectations. The person who firmly believes they CAN make serious money.

And on the other hand the ad has to cater for the person on a low wage who is then confronted with you telling them, “YES you can make £1 million in under 12 months.” Even though you’re probably on a low wage right now. And £1 million seems like a million miles away.”

Because if you don’t address the issue for the second group of people, even though they’re a biz opp seeker they’re going to start reading your ad and then think this is just a load of BS. Not achievable for me. It’s OK for everyone else… they could do this… but I couldn’t.

And then they’ll bin your letter.

So how do you address the second group?

It’s simple.

You say even if you weren’t able to make £1 million in 12 months you could still end up making £2K - £3K per month from the same opportunity.

Now do you see how you’ve written to this person’s particular beliefs? How you’ve pulled them in?

So they’re thinking, Yeah if everything didn’t go as planned I could still end up making some decent money. After all £2K - £3K a month isn’t to be sniffed at.

Bear this in mind if you come out with a big bold promise of fantastic earnings or the like in any ad you write. You gotta write for the person with high expectations and the person with not such lofty goals.

Do this and you’ll boost your response.

Until next time

Mark